Innocent Ramblings

I’m going to kill Mark. For those who don’t know, Mark is my football coach. And he’s an arse. Literally, he doesn’t care about anything but himself! Seriously today’s game made me really really want to leave but my mum won’t let me because it’s my final year and I don’t want to go either really. Dick’s lovely and would probably get upset at the idea of me wanting to leave now when we’re so close to the end. Today I had support though in the form of Helen and Daviid. They’re a pain in the arse when they’re together and Daviid succeeded in pissing Helen off, again but we won’t go down that lane. It’s nice to know I finally have people watching me. I’ve always longed to know that someone stood on the sidelines silently screaming my name (Helen won’t scream out loud because she thinks it damages the players, some mumbo crap she believes) and knowing that they’re cheering me on to win. I’ve got used to the idea that mum and dad saw Barry as the more potential idea and that’s fair off, I mean, he’s an amazing football player. His team have gone undefeated this season and it’s all because of his brilliant goalie skills. We just don’t tell him that often how amazing he is because it would feed his ego. Again I went to Grannie’s house and decorated cakes. It’s brilliant being there. I’m still afraid to stay near Grannie because I don’t want to think about losing her, it would hurt too much but yet just to be there with her and Grandad makes me so happy. I hate not being able to have it both ways. We always have amazing fun at grannies and forget to act like the adults society expects us to be. We can run around the front garden in our socks with a football, blasting out loud music that everyone else probably hates but we never care because we’re locked in the safe world of our Grannies house. It’s so amazing. Learning about Daviid tonight has upset me to know that he’s got to go that far to feel some sort of release. It just makes me wonder. What’s wrong with the world? He always seems so happy and upbeat. This world really is a funny place.