.

I’ve done my bedroom (Y) it’s so tidy. Now we know who to blame (Helen) lol. The book shelf has gone, and all the books boxed up so i don’t look like a geek J (i love you Helen) i make my bed every morning, with mine and Helens teddys sitting on the pillow.

I’ve been going to bed at like 12 every night cause i don’t see point in staying up if i’m on my own. It feels like being an only child, Helen has gone to Scotland and we never see barry he’s always on that stupid x box (damn david for giving it him)

I’ve finally had time to spend with the mother, we watched a film together the other night. ‘The runner way bride’ what a brill film. Its about a woman saying she’ll get married but then does a runner when it comes to walking down the alie. She finally does it at the end cause its only her and her boyfriend. She didn’t like doing it in front of people.

It’s only short one again lol

Birthdayy

I'm 17 :D
I had to wake up with my couisns face in mine, not a way you wanna wake up on your birthday.
I spent the day with my grandad, he made me a cake which i didnt expect :D, it didn't really feel like my birthday, people dint say happy birthday, people wasnt here :(. I've had to have the hardest day of life, having a birthday with no sister and grannie. Its been soo hard.
i've been given so many gifts which i dont usually get lol. I got phone, bracelets, a rose, neckalace, Dvds and moneyy :D
I went to the cinema with david, to watch a scary film, it nearly made me sick :( never going to a cinema to watch a scary film again, lol. i flung back in my chair when a scary bit came on. :(

Its only a short one todayyy

xx

Grannie :(

Over the past 2 years, Grannie had been recovering from her first stroke which hit the family hard. Everyone fussing over her when you could clealy tell she didn't want all the fuss. On the 7th august, she had been to the doctors to get the all clear, that she had fully reovered from her stroke. Everyone was ever so happy, Grannie the most. Then the worst happened..

On the 8th august, i answered the phone to grandad asking for helen is a worried voice. We expected it was just that Grannie had fallen out of bed, but half an hour later, the phone went agian. It was Helen saying that Grannie had been taken to hospital, thinking that she has had an other stroke. We all took turns in going to see her at the hospital. On the 11th august, Grandad, Uncle Jim and Martyn went to see a surgen to see what was wrong with Grannie. The stroke was bad, damaged all the brain sells and that she only had 7 - 10 days left. When we heard the news all our hearts broke, because not only was it that our Grannie was dying, but the days where she could end up dying was Helen's 18th birthday.

Them days were the longest days of our life. Everyone of us taking it in turns staying by her bedside. Sunday the 16th, everyone had to go home, many lived in scotland. So me and helen chose to sleep at the hospital on th 17th, so me and Grannie was the first ones there on her birthday. But unfortuntly we never because got because grannie died on the 17th at 3 am.

Monday 17th was a long day, we were all at Grandads listing to him making phone calls to everyone to let them know that Grannie had past away. We all had to hold it in for Grandad but it felt like Grannie was just upstairs in bed, just waiting to come down and join in with all the fun. Every one was at each others throats for that week. From the death of Grannie till her funeral.

Monday 24th, we all got dressed up to take Grannies body into the church. It was hard. I cried when they covered her coffin with the white sheet, knowing what was going to happen the following day. Everyone went back to Grandads to chose what people were reading. Dad and Helen got something to read. We all had to go bed early.

Tuesday 25th. Hardest day of all our lifes. We was all up at 8 O'clock to have something to eat because we had a long day ahead of us. We were all meetig up at Grandads at 9 30, so we were all ready for then. I had a black dress, tights, high heels shoes and my hair in a bun. We walked around to Grandad's to see the garden full of people that we didn't recongise, but then found out that they were family from scotland. We were waiting for our older brother James to come, but he arrived when the black cars pulled up outside Grandads house. We got to the church, which wasnt as full as i fort it would be. Dad had the first reading but while he was getting up, he banged his head on the speaker which was on the wall. So i had to do the reading, I was sooo scared.
I tried to get through the mass withou crying but it was too hard, i cried through one of the hymes and when helen read the thing about grannie and cried my heart out when they were carrying the coffin out of the church, grandad holded me :(. We all got back into the cars to go to the crem, martyn played his bagpipes into the building while dad and uncles carried in the coffin. when they closed the curtains thats when we all broke down.
The wake was at scawthorpe club, Davidd and Claire was there for us getting back. We all had a good time at the wake, with couisn Desmond keeping the mood happy.

It doesn't feel like she has gone, it feels like she is still round the corner wanting us all to go round and see her... i wish she was still here but i'm gunna have to realise that she isn't

:D:D

I WISH I WAS STILL IN SPAIN!!!!

It's back to how it was before we went to spain. Helen being a bitch towards me and Davidd, bitching to everyone she gets the chance to. Why doesn't she just understand, if they let me see david, we wouldn't be the way we are now. The things that happened on holiday was to do with me and david. Helen and Georgina should not go round telling people, they make the story worser than it actually was.

Georgina went home, was not because of david, she was looking for attention, which she got. So now she is happy why don't everyone just leave me and david alone and stop being nasty to us.

My couisn is pregnant :D the baby is going to be so cute because leoni is pretty. I wish all the best for her and ryan because they will good parents.

1 week 5 days then me and david have been togther for 1 year :D:D we have a bbq on the day. cant wait :D:D

just a short one today :D:D

OMG!

Why doesn't people just keep thier nose of other people's relationship? They should just concentrate on thier own, not no-body elses :@

There is one person who is like that.. sticks her nose in everyones relationship but as soon as anyone has their own way, she goes off on one. Yes, its Libby. She has her nose in everyone's buisness, she knows everything. So, Libby stuck her nose in Louise's relationship and then Louise told Libbys boyfriend she has been cheating on her. Now, she is going to Louise's boyfriend and tell him things to get back at louise.

OMG, how patheic can you get. She should just talk to Louise about it not getting one back at her.

This is just a quick one today..

weekend

Omg! Exams have started, well they are nearly finished. :P Can't wait till i walk out the Exam room that last time. It's going to mint, i swear. They haven't been as hard as i thought they were going to be.. I hope i have done well, so i can go to college and get my dream, that i've been wanting for a while... to become a childminder .. Me + Sarah Mc = Mummy Day Care.

It was Davidds birthday friday, slept the night before.. So he didn't have to wake up on his own.. we stayed up till 12 so i could give him his presents. I sat there watching scary movies, like chainsaw masicar.. OMFG.. i have never shit myself so much in my life.. if i ever hear a chain saw no i run! At 12 i gave him his presents, 2 books (miley cyrus & cheryl cole) and dhw series 2. I couldn't watch another scary movie, so we put dhw on.. next minute i saw him reading his book, miley cyrus. As i watching the film he came to cuddle me, and the next minute he was asleep, i so was not going to carry him upstairs so i had to wake him up.. we had text coming at 3:21 cause that was the time he was actually born.

We went to my house for a while, but no one was in, so we decided we would go to his mothers to get his presents. He has a few holiday stuff now. We had caladoniaon at the night.. everyone sang happy birthday to him, i have never seen him go so red before.. so funny.

Saturday we had planned to go for a meal with his family, it was sunny so we dicided to walk from clay lane all the way to lake side.. it took us 1 hr 10 minutes with a few arguements cause you know what lads are like, they know the right way to go but they clearly don't!

We went for a little walk around the lake. We acted like we were little children again, dancing around the fields and then pushing each other on things in the park.. it was quite fun... we were asking each other questions lol. As we were walking back home, we was expecting the time to be 7 o'clock but it was half 9, which i think stunned us both. After all the walking in fields, Davidds hayfever started showing up. He was so sick saturday night, i had to stay up most the night cuddling him, he was so hot but he was cold.. it was sooo bad.. never seen him like it before.

Sunday night i babysat our bradley... i sat and did my hair and did a little revision for my maths test which was the following day. Bradley sat watching the telly and never really heard a noise out of him till it was the break of his film...

so i've had a good weekend :D

arrrrghhhhhh!!

whats the point in saying i can go, then day before change their minds and lie thru their front teeth saying that they never even said yes in the first place. All Davidd wanted to do was go to his Aunties funeral! to say his final goodbye.
We set off to go at 11 15, and we were going to drive till Davidd got tired. we were having a great time, we were singing nursery rhymes together. Seeing if we could remember them from we were younger. But as soon as we were on barnsley road helen phoned saying that if i went dad was kicking me out. So i decided to go anyway. But we were half way up to Scotland, dad phoned saying if we didn't turn back he was going to break Davidds neck and i would be in a lot of trouble.
We turned back because i dint want anything to happen to Daviid so i made him turn round. Helen kept phoning us to tell us what was happening at home, what mum and dad was saying to her. I didnt want helen to get all the blame for it, but she did. Like she always does.
After last night, i really don't like my dad, where does he get off thinking he can threthen an 18 year old. so i wanna move out as soon i can. i hate it here.

Well, it'll be fine soon. I've changed all plans for the future. Me and Daviid are moving up to scotland with helen. Helen is going to uni, i'm going to aye college to d childcare if they it or i'll find something else to do. Davidd is going to get a full time job. That's going to be my new future and i am going to make it happen even if it kills me.

:D

nothing else to do....

So... i can't really sleep.

I'm just sat talking to Mitchel and Barry on msn, while listening to music.

I put my Uncle John song on. Love is all around - Wet wet wet. It made me thing about what we use to do. I know wish i went round to see him more, when he was around. :(

Helen has to put something in for uni. I know it might sound selfish but i really dont want her to go. Who am i going to have my girly chats with.. when im upset at night, she wont be in the next bed ready to give me a cuddle. Ill have to talk on the phone to her. When she gets up to scotland, whose to say, she wont find someone else to take my place and she might not even come back. :'( But we have to let her do what she wants, a chat down the phone everynight will be fine.. as long as she doesn't forget about me. When she goes, i'll be devastated. She not only my sister, she my best friend..

well, thats all i wanted to say...

Everything thats happened ...

So, i haven't written for a while.. not much has happened..

My Uncle John died :(.
I was telling my self that i was going to keep my self together for the funeral but as soon as the coffin came. I was gone. The priest was telling us all what Uncle John had liked to do.. fishing, the sea and going to his caravan. The priest told us to think of a good memory of him. Mine was when it was John's (my couisn) birthday and he had a bounce castle and all the party Uncle John had spent his time chasing me for a kiss.
when i was time for him to go, me and Helen was gone. We cried. I didn't want him to go just yet, i hadn't had my final goodbye. At the end of the funeral, we were all walking to say things to Aunt Janet and John. When Aunt Jane saw me, a smile grew on her face and said that Uncle John would of been happy that i was there, then she hugged me. John said that i had grown but it was because i was wearing high heels.
Me and Helen went to talk to Zoe (my other couisn), she said that my boyfriend was dead.. My Uncle John. When we were younger, he had always said he was my boyfriend.
After the funeral, i went to Davidds and cried my eyes out.. i hadn't seen my Uncle in months cause i thought he would be here forever but no he's not.. i actually do miss him and wanna see him.

I took my little couisn out, Bradley with Davidd. We took him up to Cusworth hall because he had never been in the house before. I took him to the games room first, me and him did all the puzzles whilst Davidd took a gander round. when we were finished, we couldn't find Davidd, so we walked in the different rooms to find him. When we got to him, he was telling us about what had happened in each room. Bradley actually looked like he was interested in it. I had an extra pound in my pocket, so i lent him it so he could by 2 army pencils.
He wanted to go play in the park but it was full of little kids, so Davidd told him we would take him somewhere different to play. We took him to a wood and we played hide and seek. Me and Brad was on a team and Davidd was on his own. It was really fun but then we had to take him home because i had football. We promised we would take him out again.

I have got anything else to talk about. I'll start using this more.